More on the Man upstairs

These are a few of my favourite quotes on God and religion.

Friedrich Nietzsche was probably the most blasphemous person ever. Sample these:
God is a thought which makes crooked all that is straight.

God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown.

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.

Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man?

- All Nietzsche

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lottery, dating and religion.
- Scott Adams in The Dilbert Principle

If God is so smart, why do we fart?
- Scott Adams in The Religion War

God is a sound people make when they're too tired to think anymore.
- Edward Abbey

I don't believe in God, but if I did, he would be a black, left-handed guitarist
- Matthew in Dreamers

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
- Woody Allen

I expect death to be nothingness and, for removing me from all possible fears of death, I am thankful to atheism.
- Issac Asimov

I have more faith in my plumber than I do in the eternal being. Plumbers do a good job. They keep the shit flowing.
- Charles Bukowski

How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in his divine system of creation?
- Joseph Heller in Catch 22

I've never understood how God could expect his creatures to pick the one true religion by faith — it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe.
- Jubal Harshaw in Stranger in a Strange Land

It is sometimes hard, in times like these, to understand God's way. Why would he allow nine innocent people to be run down in the prime of their lives by a senior citizen who, perhaps, shouldn't be driving? It is then that we must understand, God's sense of humor is very different from our own. He does not laugh at the simple "man walks into a bar" joke. No, God needs complex irony and subtle farcical twists that seem macabre to you and me. All that we can hope for is that God got his good laugh and a tragedy such as this will never happen again.
- South Park

I think that if there were a God, there would be less evil on this earth. I believe that if evil exists here below, then either it was willed by God or it was beyond His powers to prevent it. Now I cannot bring myself to fear a God who is either spiteful or weak. I defy Him without fear and care not a fig for his thunderbolts.
- Marquis de Sade

Respectable society believed in God in order to avoid having to speak about him.
- Jean-Paul Sartre

If I were granted omnipotence, and millions of years to experiment in, I should not think Man much to boast of as the final result of all my efforts.
- Bertrand Russell

I've been worrying about God a little bit lately. It seems as if he's been lashing out, you know, destroying cities, annihilating places. It seems like he's been in a bad mood. And I think it has to do with the quality of lovers he's been getting. If you look at the people who love God now, you know, if I was God, I'd need to destroy something.
- Salman Rushdie

I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious ideas of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God. So far as religion of the day is concerned, it is a damned fake... Religion is all bunk.
- Thomas Alva Edison

God is a mean kid on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant.
- Bruce Nolan in Bruce Almighty

Even though I've found God, I still love blow jobs, and I still say "fuck".
- Dave Mustaine

I see only with deep regret that God punishes so many of His children for their numerous stupidities, for which only He Himself can be held responsible; in my opinion, only His nonexistence could excuse Him.
- Albert Einstein

I looked and looked but I didn't see God
- Yuri Gagarin, after becoming the first person to orbit the earth

I do not think it is necessary to believe that the same God who has given us our senses, reason, and intelligence wished us to abandon their use, giving us by some other means the information that we could gain through them.
- Galileo Galilei

Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone and you are a God.
- Jean Rostand

Religion easily — has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man...living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

God says do what you wish, but make the wrong choice and you will be tortured for eternity in hell. That, sir, is not free will. It would be akin to a man telling his girlfriend, 'Do what you wish, but if you choose to leave me, I will track you down and blow your brains out.' When a man says this we call him a psychopath and cry out for his imprisonment/execution. When a god says the same, we call him loving and build churches in his honor.
- Computer programmer, Chuck Easttom (William C. Easttom II)

If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all men would quickly have perished: for they are always praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

You don't fuck around with the infinite
- From Martin Scorsese's Mean Streets

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
- Voltaire

I think I'll believe in Gosh instead of God. If you don't believe in Gosh too, you'll be darned to heck.
- Anonymous

CFG - Complete Friggin Genius: Follow-e-Dilbert

CFG - Complete Friggin Genius: Follow-e-Dilbert

This is a fellow clan member.As of now,we're the only two in the clan,but I challenge you to resist instant conversion after reading the above post.

Wassisclan?

Just have a look at these ads that appeared in the Times of India, Lucknow edition not so long ago.They would have been funny if they hadn't been so pathetically sad.
Truly, a picture is worth a thousand words.












By the cold and religious we were taken in hand,
Shown how to feel good, and told to feel bad.

- Pink Floyd

Its been some time now since I gave up on religion. I was on the verge on giving up on God too, but then I realized it was only my anger against religion which was behind it. So now I'm an agnostic.
Why?I hear you ask.Well,here I'm elaborating on only one of the reasons and that too for one of the religions.But I firmly believe every religion has enough negative points to thoroughly outweigh anything remotely positive.

Hinduism. More specifically, the caste system. I respect its origins. It started when society was probably divided according to the kind of work people did, which is quite sensible. Though I still don't favour dividing society along any lines whatsoever, but this still made sense. Brahmins were the religious teachers, Vaishyas were the traders, Kshatriyas were the warriors and Shudras were mostly assigned the seemingly menial tasks. It was a hereditary baggage that everyone carried throughout their lives and passed it on in a similar way.

I don't really need to point out what went wrong.The society changed, the system of carrying on the family work changed, but the caste system did not. For all our claims at being a liberal society, the caste system still runs right through the societal fabric. Shudras or as is the language of the times, scheduled castes, are still looked down upon with ridicule, though now the ridicule is mixed with a seething rage due to reserved quotas in education and jobs. In the same way,the scheduled castes still hate the upper castes for all that is wrong with them, even though their own leaders have constantly let them down. Today, Vaishyas may become engineers, Brahmins may become businessmen, Kshatriyas may become doctors, but they can't shake off the false mould in which they are cast. One of the prime reasons for this is politics,or more accurately, politicians.

There are no issues in elections now. You're a hindu,eh? Well,vote for the BJP, what else?the majority community is in danger,only the RSS can protect them. And muslims? Well, well Mulayam Singh is your deifinitive neta. After all, he kept mum even after one of his own ministers literally issued a supari for the head of the Danish cartoonist who drew derogatory images of the prophet, which clearly shows the lengths he's ready to go, or rather the level he is ready to stoop down to, in order to express solidarity with the minority community.
But then again, Mulayam is also the leader of the backwards, just in case they didn't notice. And that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about the upper castes. He's pro-kshatriya,even to the extent of withdrawing all investigations against an alleged murderer. He's pro-brahmin,the proof of which is that he declared Parshuram Jayanti a holiday. I mean this is what brahmins want,don't they?

What the fuck,man! I'm supposed to be a brahmin too. But clearly,I'm not proud of it. I don't mean I'm ashamed of it either. But why the fuck should I even be conscious of it? My family has had nothing to do with panditai for generations. So what makes me a brahmin? But I see proud brahmins, kshatriyas, vaishyas, shudras all around. One particularly funny incident involves a true brahmin batchmate reprimanding me for not being a true brahmin because I don't pay attention to my studies. I know, I know how incredibly hilarious the logic sounds, but try not falling over laughing. I mean, sure, a student is supposed to study well. But I,being a brahmin, should pay extra attention to it. Come to think of it, since brahmin means student anyway, every single student is a brahmin. This is what the caste system was supposed to be. But we've reduced it to marrying a girl/boy of your own caste in order to preserve your caste(whatever the fuck that means) and casting your vote in the favor of the most blatant liar with a criminal record just because he is "one of yours".

It is pathetic. That's an understatement.

Look at the hate we're breeding,
look at the fear we're feeding,
look at the lives we're leading,
the way we've always done before

- Guns N' Roses

No sanity,please!we are humans

It's scary.The world is running out of sane people,though I am inclined to think its not exactly a novel phenomenon,but I'm realizing it these days more than ever.Probably I'm insane in my own way(Oh thats a terribly diplomatic statement.I hate it,but I'm using it more and more these days.Respecting others' points of view is a tough job,and this is a handy tool).
It would be a valid question to ask,what in Jesus-fuckin-Christ's name is sanity anyway?Oh I just made an offensive statement,didn't I? Now even as the christian fundamentalists will be baying for my blood for using their prophet's name in a derogatory manner,the preservers of hindu culture will be offended by the fact that I used a christian deity's name in the first place.Well,while I'm at it,let me go ahead and seal my fate completely.I think it is plain stupid for all the muslims of the world to raise in protest against some cartoons published in a newspaper with miniscule readership and no standing at all.Did they ever stop to think that if they had spared us the protests,probably nobody would have noticed the cartoons anyway? I am also sick and tired of Hindus raising in protest whenever anything remotely resembling their 50 million deities is portrayed in an insulting manner.And anyway,I have hated christian guts as long as I can remember.It is the most blatantly hypocritical religion there can ever be.
Other followers,don't start feeling too smug about yourself,I hate all religions.I hate the very concept.I hate anything that is a reason to hate anyone else.yea that sounds contradictory,I know.But I can't help it.If hating extremist points of view is an extremist point of view in itself,so be it.