Mayank Mandava Ullu ka Pattha

Disclaimer: Pardon the outrage. I really wanted the title to be subtler, sarcastic, clever and all. Something like “To Mandu, with Love”, despite overflowing with gay undercurrents, first came to mind. Then there were “Surely you’re joking, Mr. Mandava” and “In the name of The Mandu”. But I felt that the intensity of a title like “In-Yo-Fuckin-Face” and the seething umbrage oozing from every pore of something like “Eat This, Bitch!”, was what I needed to convey my feelings accurately enough. Hence this.

Now the issue. No, actually let me start with this.

Humse mat puchho kaise mandir toota sapno ka
Gairon ki baat nahi hai, ye kissa hai apno ka
Koi dushman thes lagaye to meet jiya bharmaye
Manmeet jo ghaav lagaye, usse kaun mitaaye?

And now the issue. As is his wont, He who has emerged from the All-American Beaver recently made another of his sweeping generalizations.

“Dude all Hindi song lyrics suck! There have been no good abstract lyrics in any Hindi song ever!”

Note the careful use of words like ‘all’ and ‘ever’. Also, note that He of the American Beaver has heard fewer Hindi songs than the number of times he has reinstalled Linux. Fuck the resolution to never use clichés! I can’t restrain myself from saying this: Surely you’re joking Mr. Mandava. Also, are you fucking insane?

The argument, I guess, is essentially that there are no Hindi songs that can be interpreted in multiple ways – y’know, that thing about rock lyrics. Abstract is obviously a much overused term that can be used to justify the inanity of stuff like

This machine will, will not communicate these thoughts
And the strain I am under
Be a world child form a circle before we all go under
And fade out again, and fade out again

Of course, it helps if the songwriter can spew horseshit at will.
Pioneered by The Beatles and immortalized by bands like The Doors, Nirvana, Radiohead and to a lesser extent, Led Zeppelin, the USP of abstract lyrics seems to be that exclamation from some retarded fans, “So that’s what the song is about! Du-hu-ude! That’s like totally the bee’s knees!”

Not that I don’t love these bands. Far from that, mate! I am the Walrus, Street Spirit (Fade out), Rape Me, The End, Stairway to Heaven – all of these are absolutely goosebumpy stuff to me. But then again not because I get the lyrics, or that I believe that only if you get the lyrics can you truly appreciate the song. The thing is, with the probable exception of Radiohead and the ‘poet’ Jim Morrison, none of these guys took their own lyrics seriously when they wrote meaningless stuff. Definitely not John Lennon, who wrote I am the Walrus to defy interpretation – he learnt that some high school teacher was analyzing The Beatles lyrics in English class, and he wanted to throw the teacher off course with elementary penguins, crabalocker fishwives and pornographic priestesses. Not Kurt Cobain either – there is no way you can get the true meaning of a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido. But that’s okay; the guy who wrote it didn’t know what it was about anyway.

"Teen Spirit" is widely interpreted to be a teen revolution anthem, an interpretation reinforced by the song's music video. When discussing the song in Michael Azerrad's biography Come as You Are: The Story of Nirvana, Cobain revealed that he felt a duty "to describe what I felt about my surroundings and my generation and people my age." The book Teen Spirit: The Stories Behind Every Nirvana Song describes "Teen Spirit" as "a typically murky Cobain exploration of meaning and meaninglessness." Azerrad plays upon the juxtaposition of Cobain's contradictory lyrics (such as "It's fun to lose and to pretend") and states "the point that emerges isn't just the conflict of two opposing ideas, but the confusion and anger that the conflict produces in the narrator—he's angry that he's confused." Azerrad's conclusion is that the song is "alternately a sarcastic reaction to the idea of actually having a revolution, yet it also embraces the idea."
Cobain has said, "The entire song is made up of contradictory ideas [. . .] It's just making fun of the thought of having a revolution. But it's a nice thought." Drummer Dave Grohl has stated he does not believe the song has any message, and said, "Just seeing Kurt write the lyrics to a song five minutes before he first sings them, you just kind of find it a little bit hard to believe that the song has a lot to say about something. You need syllables to fill up this space or you need something that rhymes."

There’s nothing hallowed about the meaning of the stuff. It’s nonsense, and thoroughly enjoyable nonsense at that, but you don’t actually like the lyrics. You like the fact that you don’t need to like the lyrics.
My favorite rock artists lyrics wise? Oh well…Of course, Floyd and The Who can be occasionally dismissed as being too direct, not subtle enough and stuff. Which is why Dylan is the ultimate poet – all along the watchtower and beyond.

Anyway, what we’re talking about is good Hindi lyrics – even better if they’re abstract too. Hmm…let me start off with one of my absolute favorites.

Saahilo pe behne wale kabhi suna to hoga kahin,
Kaagazon ki kashtiyon ka kahin kinara hota nahi
O majhi re, majhi re
Koi sahara majhdaare mein mile to, apna sahara hai

The meaning is not in-your-face obvious, but you can sense there is a meaning. Very subtle, but definitely there.

Oh, another one just came to mind, albeit a lot more direct than the last one.

Kori chunariya aatma mori, mail hai mayajaal
Wo duniya mere babul ka ghar, ye duniya sasuraal
Haan jaake babul se najrein milaun kaise
Ghar jaun kaise
Laaga chunari mein daag chhupaun kaise

Gulzar is probably the king of truly abstract stuff – the Real Thing.

Dhundha karenge tumhe saahilo pe hum
Ret pe ye pairon ke mohre na chhodna
Saara din lete lete sochega samundar
Aate jaate logo se puchhega samundar
Sahib rukiye zara
Arre dekhi kisi ne aati hui lehron pe jaati hui ladki?

Oh and just in case one is thinking of committing suicide, allow me to recommend a little piece of advice from Kaifi Azmi,

ud ja ud ja pyaase bhanvare, ras na milega kaaron mein
kaagaz ke phul jahaan khilte hain, baith na un gulzaaron mein
naadan tamanna reti men, ummeed ki kashti kheti hai
ik haath se deti hai duniyaa, sau haathon se leti hai
ye khel hai kab se jaari
bichhade sabhee, bichhade sabhi baari baari

Of course, one may be instantly cheered out of one’s depression when one hears the line ek haath se deti hai duniya, sau haathon se leti hai. But then that is one’s own prerogative, isn’t it?
As for innuendo-laden desi counterparts to The Lemon Song, well, isn’t that what all of Mithun Da’s songs are about. But there’s some classy stuff too.

Ang ang mein jalti hain dard ki chingariyan
Masle phoolon ki mehek mein titliyon ki kyaariyan
Raat bhar bechari mehndi pisti hai pairon tale
Kya karun, kaise kahun, raat kab kaise dhale

More Gulzar

Aye Udi Udi Udi
Aye Khwaaboon Ki Pudi
Aye Ang Rang Khili
Aye Saari Raat Jagi
Halki Aye Halki Kal Raat Jo Shabnam Giri
Arre Akhiyaan Vakhiyaan Bhar Gayi Kal To Haath Par Dab Dab Giri

And of course, the truly immortal

Naa to chakkua ki dhaar, na daraanti na kataar
Aisa kaate ki daant ka nisaan chhod de
Ye katai to koi bhi kisaan chhod de
Ho billo, jaalim ja jod de makaan jod de

I could go on forever. But I guess this suffices for now. I had to do this because TV chided me with a mild “Behen ke lund tumne uss behen ke lund ko kuchh jawab diya ki nahi?”

Signing off with another personal favorite.

In bhool bhulaiya galiyon mein apna bhi koi ghar hoga,
Ambar pe khulegi khidki ya khidki pe khula ambar hoga
Asmaani rang ki aankho mein basne ka bahana dhundte hain dhundte hain
Aab-o-daana dhundte hain ek aashiyana dhundte hain

Jab tare zameen par chalte hain, aakaash zameen ho jata hai
Uss raat nahi phir ghar jata wo chaand yahin so jata hai
Pal bhar ke liye in aankhon mein hum ek zamana dhundte hain, dhundte hain
Aab-o-daana dhundte hain ek aashiyana dhundte hain

Flying Trapeze OR Iambic Pentameter

I like the way you swing
It makes me sweat
I’m cold and hot and I
Can’t breathe alright

The rope it breaks you fall
Into the net
You crash and break your head
I lose my sight