An ode to someone who'll never read it

Dear Atul Mama,

Can't believe you're gone. Really can't. A lot of people miss you, some of them much more than I do. But I can't talk for them,all I know is I miss you a lot.
No I don't believe in afterlife. I don't believe that you're a shining star in the sky and I'll see you again after my death. But if I did,I'd wish for an early death. It's tough being a non-believer,but I don't want to delude myself. Maybe it would've been easier if I had known that the last time I met you was gonna be the last time I'll meet you. Or maybe it would've been even tougher. I don't really care about such choices.
Why did this have to happen? Oh I know the hindu philosophy. Everybody faces the sins of his/her past lives. If only I could bring myself to believe in past lives. You were not a sinner in this life. This shouldn't have happened.I don't know who to curse. Actually I do.

I'm not sorry that I never told you the fact that you were one of the most important influences in my life.That I loved you so much I was almost blind to whatever little shortcomings you had.
It wouldn't have mattered much after you were no more. If anything it could've made your last moments tougher to think you were leaving a void in the life of one more person.

याद के बेनिशान जजीरों से, तेरी आवाज़ आ रही है अभी
शहर की बेचिराग गलियों में ज़िंदगी तुझको ढूँढती है अभी
कुछ तो नाज़ुक मिजाज़ हैं हम भी, और ये चोट भी नयी है अभी

I know it sounds petty, but thanks for introducing me to Ghulam Ali.
I don't pray for you. I don't pray for anything. I just miss you.

Such a depressing post doesn't entirely do justice to the most jovial person I've ever known. Following is one of the least important things I miss about you. Also the most.

हमे हर्ष है कि हमारे मूल्यों में उत्कर्ष है
अब देखिए ना, डाक्टर की नज़र में मरीज़ नही मरीज़ का पर्स है
और मरीज़ की नज़र में डाक्टर नही डाक्टर के बगल में खड़ी खूबसूरत नर्स है