Dear Atul Mama,
Can't believe you're gone. Really can't. A lot of people miss you, some of them much more than I do. But I can't talk for them,all I know is I miss you a lot.
No I don't believe in afterlife. I don't believe that you're a shining star in the sky and I'll see you again after my death. But if I did,I'd wish for an early death. It's tough being a non-believer,but I don't want to delude myself. Maybe it would've been easier if I had known that the last time I met you was gonna be the last time I'll meet you. Or maybe it would've been even tougher. I don't really care about such choices.
Why did this have to happen? Oh I know the hindu philosophy. Everybody faces the sins of his/her past lives. If only I could bring myself to believe in past lives. You were not a sinner in this life. This shouldn't have happened.I don't know who to curse. Actually I do.
I'm not sorry that I never told you the fact that you were one of the most important influences in my life.That I loved you so much I was almost blind to whatever little shortcomings you had.
It wouldn't have mattered much after you were no more. If anything it could've made your last moments tougher to think you were leaving a void in the life of one more person.
याद के बेनिशान जजीरों से, तेरी आवाज़ आ रही है अभी
शहर की बेचिराग गलियों में ज़िंदगी तुझको ढूँढती है अभी
कुछ तो नाज़ुक मिजाज़ हैं हम भी, और ये चोट भी नयी है अभी
I know it sounds petty, but thanks for introducing me to Ghulam Ali.
I don't pray for you. I don't pray for anything. I just miss you.
Such a depressing post doesn't entirely do justice to the most jovial person I've ever known. Following is one of the least important things I miss about you. Also the most.
हमे हर्ष है कि हमारे मूल्यों में उत्कर्ष है
अब देखिए ना, डाक्टर की नज़र में मरीज़ नही मरीज़ का पर्स है
और मरीज़ की नज़र में डाक्टर नही डाक्टर के बगल में खड़ी खूबसूरत नर्स है
3 comments:
You speak for all of us bro...All my time in the UK sitting alone in a room for days together...staring out of my window to see the everlasting melancholy weather...adding to my depression.. I did a lot of introspection and thought about the futility of it all. I had almost given up on everything. somehow I managed to wrap up everything and come back. The string of incidents that have taken place has rendered some of us non-believers. I could never have put what I feel in words like you have. I feel almost like you do bro.I miss him too. Thanks.
Chanced by your post - it propelled me back to the time when someone close to me had passed. It's funny how we humans seem to be able to do everything but understand death.
@shekhu da: I know man,I guess everybody who knew him even remotely misses him. We, obviously, knew him better than most people,and we're both lucky and unlucky that way.
@esha:I know what you mean. There is no possible relief for the helplessness you feel when someone close to you passes away. all religious and philosophical views on death are utter and absolute bullshit.
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