Lights Out (just dropped in)

I woke up this morning with the lights out, I was blind
I dumped my mind in a place that I couldn't find
I soared but I stumbled so I roared and I rumbled, but then
I tripped on a cloud and I crashed all over again

I picked myself up and shouted a curse at the sky
It came back to me, and I knew that the end is nigh
No comfort here, I'd never played this game before
So I just walked on till I couldn't walk on no more

I came to a door at the end of the road, but it was guarded
I didn't say a prayer for I know the seas were never parted
I pushed through in and saw myself sitting on a bed
I asked myself, "what brings you here?", and I said

"I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in."
(Yeah, yeah, oh yeah what condition my condition was in)

A matter of reality

Beneath the veil of nothingness, nothing survives. Or maybe is simply revealed to have been an illusion all along. It's a liberating realization. The only downside is that the liberation is as meaningless as the illusion. Sometimes I'm tempted to leave in search of a suitable vantage point from where I can witness the story unfold in all its grand absurdity. But then I'm struck by the thought that this was the exact purpose of many quests in the past, most of which ended in the form of one religion or another. This scares me more than most things. Is my non-belief in any kind of belief beginning to take the shape of a belief in itself?


Hahahaha, everytime I start taking myself seriously I'm reminded of these gems,


"Ve vant ze money, or ve fucks you up"


"I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism Dude, at least it's an ethos"


"He's a nihilist, he doesn't care about anything"
"That must be exhausting"


So anyway, let's end this, whatever this is, with a verse. Cos verses rhyme (unless written by Eddie Vedder), and as long as they do, nobody gives a shit about what they mean. That's the kind of comedic freedom I try to live with.

Flowing, through and over and past everything
Taking me within and with itself
It puts me on the stage, but assigns me no part
It lives inside every song I sing
And secretly smiles when I act too smart
(Does it laugh outrageously when I fart?)

It didn't create Sunday masses and sacrificial altars
It never attempts to guide me towards the light
('Cos isn't the stage where the light is?)
The set of instructions is rather sparse
Enter stage left, and exit to the right

Everything in between comes to me all at once
Every stupid smile and every seething scar
It’s all the same to me unless they kill my fucking car
There are no prophecies that can explain my being
I was born to play my part in the circus of nothing

And all that stands between the final dance
Is everything that I will ever know in this play
Fruitcakes and milkshakes and impossible distance
And then maybe some salvation one fine day

The onlyest way to find out is to find out


To be cuntinude...

American Dream

After half a millennium, the sun seems to be setting - not just in the west like it always does, but on the West too. This is dedicated to the double dip, which will rewrite the American Dream in many really funny ways.

Writing alternate lyrics to songs is a weird hobby for sure, but fun too. Inspiration be found here

These ghosts are making rounds for their next sack-attacks
Go dump your huddled masses on their worn-out backs
So while you run and hide your lives, they whirr and they chime
The rules of yore don’t work in this new paradigm
And all I wanna do is clean the surface of rust
For all you do and see and love is glorified dust
So smell your Pyrrhic wins before they plunge the stake
A weep-inducing sleep from which you’ll never wake, no…

(Chorus)
Sugar, sugar, on the run
Is your dream American?
Take it all in on your stride
It is sinking, falling down
Hide your heads deep in the sand,
and turn forever hand in hand
All sons of guns on the run
Is everybody in?

Your past will stain your future with a deep, deep red
The flames you fanned will burn your heart and cook your head
So realign your theories, it’s amusing to see
For all you did and saw and loved is the enemy
My leaden eyes and misty mind can barely perceive
This overrated progeny of Adam and Eve
Now make a run for it for you are happiness-bound
Ten million wracking nerves don’t make the tiniest sound

(Chorus)

सबब-ऐ-उदासी - ८३, ८४, ८५, ८६

नज़र आये कभी यूँ ही कहीं ख़्वाबों का नामाबर
नही दो ध्यान ये बेकार की माज़ीपरस्ती है
कभी मिल जाए फुर्सत दो कदम पीछे पलटने की
तो रखो याद यहाँ मौत भी फुर्सत से सस्ती है

नदी पेड़ पहाड़ पत्थर - 71, 72, 73, 74

कभी सोते में जागे तो कभी जगते में सो लिए
इस ख्वाबीदा ज़िन्दगी की किस्मत में अब ख्वाब नही
पलकों से फूटता ये नूर का दरिया भी है धोखा
उफक पर डूब जायेंगे मगर हम आफताब नही

For those who are confused, the title is my favourite sher of all time. And just in case, Sudhanshu drops by with a "jitni urdu aati thi ek baar mein....", here's the disclaimer too.

Disclaimer
मौसिकी का जूनून तो था ही, अब शायरी में भी दखल रखते हैं
महफिल में कहीं रुसवा न होना पड़े, बगल में हमेशा "Best of Ghalib" की नक़ल रखते हैं

Instrumental a-capella

Desolate in its happiness
Yet pervades the world at hand
Perked up in a lemon dress
Lonesome trail through crowded lands

Lonesome trail through crowded lands
Into the murky labyrinthine
Surrounded by some absent friends
The elements of a grand design

The elements of a grand design
That is too grand to be revealed
From up above the heavens nine
Down to the ninth orange peel

Down to the ninth orange peel
Where beats the demon's heart in sync
It rides around on high pink heels
And floats on zeppelins bound to sink

And floats on zeppelins bound to sink
It gathers moss in a vulgar dance
But who can tell what insects drink
When they stop by by happenstance

When they stop by by happenstance
To see it bounded up in chains
Salvation has an even chance
But it can't help falling in pain

एक उबासी

Thanks for the title Badi ma

प्रायः गहन चिंतन के रोगी

होते हैं सन्यासी योगी

पर असमंजस में पड़ जाते

मुझ जैसे विलासिता भोगी

अकस्मात् जब बीच बात में

जिह्वा पे ताले पड़ जाते

ऐसे ही टकटकी लगा कर

शून्य दिशा नैन गड़ जाते

ऐसी मुद्रा मात्र देख कर

पापी के सब व्यसन छूटते

ध्यान लगा कर, फुटेज खा कर

मुख से तब यह वचन फूटते

"हे बंधू यह जीवन क्या है?

ब्रह्मज्ञान पाने का अवसर

क्षणिक सुखों में रखा क्या है

नहीं हैं टिकते एक क्षण-भर"

बिना भूमिका जब यह सुनता

किंकर्तव्यविमूढ़ सा बनता

मन में रहता चंचल चितवन

पर कह पाता बस "सत्यवचन"

यहाँ नहीं रुकते सन्यासी

"सुन हे मूर्ख भोग विलासी,

आत्मा है ज्ञान की प्यासी"

मेरा उत्तर - एक उबासी

मेरी इस उदासीनता को

बाबा बचपना समझते हैं

और अपनी कर्कश वाणी को

अमृत से सना समझते हैं

बस इक जम्हाई के बदले

झेलेंगे ज्ञान गुरु से सब

और मुंह को हाथ से ढकने का

रखेंगे ध्यान शुरू से अब

"तेरा भाग्य क्या तेरे हाथ है,

या है कोई दैवीय योजना?

ईंट और गारे के जंगल में,

नहीं सुगम इंसान खोजना"

मैं डरा डरा सा बैठा हूँ

बस भाग निकलने की सुध में

ये भरे भरे से बैठे हैं

हैं भाग्य बदलने के मूड में

ईंट और गारे का जंगल, वाह

क्या बात कही है मान गए

पर इस अंधे से ये पूछो,

क्या बना इसे भगवान गए?

"हे बच्चा सुन, है सच्चा ध्यान-

धरम ही सच्चे सुख का द्वार

है आत्मबोध निर्वाण का पथ,

अद्वैत की है महिमा अपार"

हाँ हाँ अद्वैत है सच्चा सुख 

सांसारिक मोह देता बस दुःख 

चलो हम भी लगायें ध्यान, मगर 

पहले इतना बूझो विप्रवर 

है कौन जो ध्यान लगाता है?

और निर्वाण कौन पाता है?

माँ माया, बाप भी है माया 

फिर तू जग में कैसे आया?

"तू निरा मूर्ख अज्ञानी है 

जीवन तो बहता पानी है 

नहीं कोई कहीं से है आया 

जो पाया यहीं पर है पाया"

भैया तुम निकले गुरुघंटाल 
फर्जी है तुम्हारा मायाजाल 
क्या लाये क्या ले जाओगे: 
ये जुमला कब तक चलाओगे?

भगवान भरोसे बैठे हो 
और बिना बात के ऐंठे हो 
ये नश्वर और वो क्षणभंगुर 
ज्ञानी हो या गीता प्रेस गोरखपुर?

"तू एक दिन सब कुछ खोएगा 
मेरे चरणों में रोयेगा 
भक्ति-पथ ठुकराने वाले 
तेरे बुरे दिन हैं आने वाले"

सच कहते हो विप्रवर प्यारे

तुम्ही हो तारणहार हमारे

छूटेगी सब भोगासक्ति

पर न मिलेगी फिर भी भक्ति

क्षमा करो हे सर्वज्ञानी

तुम्हरा डसा न मांगे पानी

रहो घोर संलग्न मनन में

मुझे न डालो इस उलझन में

The Oyster is my World

Happily buried under the sands of time
In a world where sloth is hardly a crime
I see a stupid contraption descend
It flaps and traps my hapless friend

In brilliant blues and glistening greens
These primitive patchy philistines
Amateur seekers of undeserved riches
Deserving of German submarines

I dig deeper to escape attention
But I wasn't made for slick deception
It grabs me too, it breaks my house
And Adam's ale can aught but douse

The embers of this holocaust
And of a world forever lost
Bury my pride but wear me proud
I'm priceless at a heavy cost

Meridies Primus (Longus Linus)

I begin
From this point, my path disjoint

Lifeless longitudes at my lonely sides

Ice Capades and frozen tides

Block my sight

The endless night gives way

To the endless day

The hammer of the Gods will drive

My ship, till I arrive

Through the epeiric locker of Davey Jones
To the Kingdom of scones

Where they hoist the colours high

But I must move on, the time is nigh

Onward, to where there's no respect

For a quondam relic, but I suspect

It's their own ghosts they fight

Still bask in the corporal's incorporeal light

Tally-ho, towards tortillas then

Spilling some salsa on Sierra Nevada

Aboard an avid hitch-hiker's armada
A hop over the waters of middle earth

A multitude of mores marking its girth

I reach the land of a thousand suns

Where the universe is rolled into that eternal question

"What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow,

out of this stony rubbish?"

I don't see fear in a handful of dust

But if I must

This land is the nerve centre of misgivings

So I move on to greener pastures
And the battlegrounds of fallen masters
Amid ashes of an ancient Armageddon

Ashanti still rules in abandon

I jump headlong in the briniest blue

That parts the turquoise globe in two

It's parted too

By a crack, where I slip through

When I emerge in blinding white

My friends long gone appear in sight
From endless days to endless nights

And the dance of the southern sprites

I've been here before

Hallowed be Thy Game

It's hard to ignore a piece of plastic dancing in the wind
Even when Thy Omnipotent foot is blessing my unworthy behind

Like to play games, do You, sadistic illusionist
A false dose of psychedelia for every perverse li'l twist

When the skies are brimming with candy rain, we're watched by benevolent eyes
But macabre mystery lurks in Your ways, screw-ups are blessings in disguise

Well, I thought I would say to You "Your time is gonna come"
But then they say that isn't how works the divine system

You live "outside" of space-time eh? You woeful old fart
Some may find that humbling, but it truly soothes my heart

How You rot in eternity, while mortals happily grind Your gears
Omnipresence is overrated, 'cos Your time is always here

Oh but You already know that, there's nothing new for you to find
Omniscience is a joke, You must be bored out of Your divine mind

Something that makes me curious, is the future carved in lead?
If You already know it, can You do Ctrl+Z?

If You live outside of time, do You have a future at all?
Or are You stuck in an Indian summer that eats up the spring and fall?

It pleases me no end to think of Your monotonous season
What good is Omnipotence if everything happens for a reason?

Almighty Lord of all creation, grant yourself this favor
Don't let this blasphemy go unpunished, if only to prove Pascal's wager